Thursday, October 20, 2011

HvZ Fall 2011: Da Bears Zombat Diary

Humans vs. Zombies is well under way in Athens, Ohio, and I'm knee deep in the bodies! Maybe not knee deep, but the game has been incredibly exciting. And it's only the third day! I figure, while I'm human at least, I'd keep a record of how I and my strike team are doing during this year's fall game.

Godless killing machine

We are Da Bears. Why bears, you say? Because bears are soulless, godless, rampaging killing machines. They are Nature's engine of carnage and destruction. Why in the world would we fear zombies when our dinner platter-sized paws can take a man's head off in one swing? Also, they're cute and adorable.

This year's roster includes me, Matt Burket, Pat Grieve, Christian Law, and Tanner Bivens. Christian, Matt, and I are founding members. Pat and Tanner joined us for the invitational earlier this year and are now tried and true Bears.

Tuesday (10/18): Da Bears convened at Morton Hall with other survivors for the opening mission. We met up with some old friends and comrades. I got this weird feeling that we'd all done this before. Suddenly, some kind of time bubble-wrap burst and none other than the dastardly Wizard from weeks before stood before us. He had traveled from the past with his own strike team of zombies to do some wicked thingamabob plot to frak with the timelines. I don't know; I'm no scientist. When we survivors scrabbled about not knowing what to do, lo and behold, who should appear from another chronomatic wormhole than the most famous time traveler ever: Marty McFly!

Marty and Doc Brown had been chasing the Wizard through Time itself, finally tracking him to our timeline. They enlisted us to help them and to locate other time travelers (I think they referred to themselves as the Time Corps). Da Bears trooped off with the BoobDudes and few others, slogging through the monsoon that had descended on Athens. Almost all of us were soaked to the bone when we finally reached the RTV Building after crossing streets-turned-rivers. In the alleyway behind we found Kyle Reese, the father of the savior of mankind.

After escorting Mr. Reese back to the Scripps Amphitheater with not even a peep of zombie, we stuck around on watch for awhile. But the rain and wind had taken its toll on Da Bears and we agreed to head back in once the mission was complete. The rest of the Time Corps arrived within the hour and I was impressed with the company that had been assembled: Marty McFly, Doc Brown, Kyle Reese, The Doctor, and Abetron Lincoln. I might have even missed a few.

With Scruffy and Conor's help, I was able to make it back to my dorm safely and turn in for the night.

Wednesday (10/29): I had forgotten how dangerous the streets would become once the infected had been unleashed upon our city. At 9 a.m. I was able to walk from my dorm to Nelson Hall for work (yes, zombie-killer and resistance fighter by night, Grab N Go employee by day) in relative safety. The cold wasn't cooperating with the zombies and I felt safe enough with my sock bombs and Secret Strike. After work I took a roundabout way back, avoiding Morton Hill and College Green, and reached my dorm safely. I struck out again an hour later, this time more heavily armed. That was almost the death of me.

When I left class at Ellis Hall, I walked across College Green, ran into a fellow survivor, Michael Armstrong. We had quick chat, swapping intel and advice. He told me to avoid the Union Bar (one of Dead Team's favorite hangouts) so I took a quick jaunt across Union Street, hoping to follow Court to an alleyway that would take me home. As I was crossing the street, I saw a girl amid the crowd, white bandanna on her head, staring straight at me.

I leveled my weapon, hesitating a moment. Then, I heard footsteps behind me, someone shouting "Peekaboo!" I spun away, keeping my bandanna arm from my new attacker. He missed his tag and I shot him three times for good measure. If I had been one second too late I would not be able to tell my tale now (at least, not as a good, beautiful human). This zombie had the courtesy to give me my darts back and tell me that the girl was indeed his friend and the bait for his trap. I shot her too.

After that close call I stayed home for a few hours, trying to knock out a paper as soon as possible. I headed back out to rendezvous with Tanner for dinner. The other Bears had been made busy by schoolwork and the ill weather and opted out for the night, so only two Bears descended onto Shively Hall for food. We even played the bit of public relations by answering a few questions some curious civilians posed to us.

Tanner and I made our way to Scripps for the night's mission, joining up with other survivors. We would be going with Kyle Reese to the Convocation Center to stop the Wizard from creating more time bubblewraps to summon zombie minions. Da Bears fell into the column with the BoobDudes as well as a few trusty randoms. My own feelings were mixed; based on previous experiences, I knew better than to tackle the mission with the same gung-ho attitude I would have last year. With our numbers, we'd succeed, but we were going to lose men.

The mission had us engaging zombies in the parking garage beneath the Convo. I lost sight of my fellow Bear several times, with the zombies charging and running at us from a multitude of directions. If not for Jerry (one of the trusty randoms I mentioned) and Dom from the BoobDudes covering my ass, I would have died in there. If not for the ballsy courage of fellow survivors like Scruffy from the BoobDudes and Fluffy from Shiny Falcon, I think we might have taken more losses than we did. And if not for the leadership of much more experienced men, I know that mission could have gone FUBAR quick.

We humans succeeded in popping the time bubble balloons, but at great cost. Sometime during the skirmish, we had lost Kyle Reese to the grasp of the undead. Without him, I shed a tear for the fate of mankind. We might weather this zombie apocalypse, but what of the machines? I pray Reese has already met Sarah Connor -- for the fate of us all. Farewell, Mr. Reese. We shall seek to give you peace beyond undeath.

There's another mission tonight, but I, with my janky class schedule, won't be able to make it. So, to my fellow humans, fight, survive, thrive! Keep the Doctor alive. I'd hate to lose another time traveling hero to the zombies. I'll see you all out there. Keep fighting the good fight.

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